Not was always the case that I knew how to deal with expectations. Not a long ago, I found myself not getting the job done, or so I thought. The tasks and the goals I had, were never completed for me, and this situation made me anxious and kept me stuck in a deadlock, not making steps because I wasn’t happy with my situation.
I tried as hard as I could, but I couldn’t get away with the resentment feelings, and working remotely didn’t help. But people were happy with my work, in fact, they always had good words about me, “how could that be?” I didn’t feel like I was giving my 100%, but for people it was more than enough.
The only thing that happened was that I was trapped in my own expectations, always trying to do the “right thing” no matter what, was killing me. I had impostor syndrome on my work and on my personal life, I wasn’t always enough and the self-judgment thoughts were going to the roof.
Then I thought, “Doesn’t people have big goals? There has to be more, we are not that different”, and I was right. A better approach was the puzzle piece that was missing. It wasn’t realistic for me to achieve all my aspirations fast and at the same time, so at the start of this year, I set myself some goals to achieve by the end of the year, and I’ve already completed some of them.
For me, setting myself achievable goals with a fixed deadline is the best way of actually doing something to make them happen. Furthermore, I’m learning to deal with the fact that results not always depend on my actions, and that they don’t define me as a person. In fact reading, one of these goals, have helped me a lot to deal with these emotions.
I realized that whenever I feel fear or anxiety about something, maybe that’s the right path. Or maybe not the right path, but at least I’m taking one, in this case the blog, let’s see if it goes somewhere.
The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.